In one of three London Derbies, West Ham delivered the first true shock of the young campaign, defeating Chelsea 3-1. The Hammers have been slow to add to their squad, but early signs point to them having chosen well, with James Ward-Prowse delivering 2 assists in typical fashion. His poise around set pieces - and the resulting goals - could give West Ham the leg up they need to make this season successful despite their questionable depth. Paquetá, who now looks to be staying, added a coolly taken penalty. But, beyond individual stats, the East London outfit look to have more of an identity already and are proving tough to play against. Chelsea were on the wrong side of a bad looking scoreline but will look back at several missed chances (a poor Enzo Fernández penalty in particular) and think that they could have earned a different result. Moisés Caicedo’s cameo was widely ridiculed - he certainly didn’t cover himself in glory with several sloppy moments in possession and a penalty conceded. But, he has a long contract ahead of him, and no one should worry too much before seeing a few more matches.

Moving to the North side of London, Tottenham Hotspur caught Ange-ball fever in their first home match. The Australian manager has rightly received plaudits for their exultant victory over Manchester United, but it should be said that the Red Devils weren’t exactly held at bay. They may not have scored, but that was more down to Vicario in Spurs’ goal pulling off quite a few feats of acrobatics than to a dominant defensive performance. Tottenham look guaranteed to thrill this year, but it would be surprising if they added many more clean sheets to their total. As for United, the team still looks and feels unsettled. To a certain extent that’s understandable given the new additions. But, in a week where they’ve shown so little backbone in the Mason Greenwood case (which is too much to get into here), it’s hard to feel much sympathy for them. 

The opening match of the weekend saw Nottingham Forest earn their first points of the season in a 2-1 win over Sheffield United. An early Taiwo Awoniyi goal was canceled out by an absolute Apollo 11 of a shot by new Blades signing Gustavo Hamer. While Forest ultimately found a late winner from Chris Wood’s experienced head, they shouldn’t leave this match feeling satisfied with their performance. Only Sheffield United’s poor finishing and Matt Turner’s saves prevented them from dropping points. Forest were lucky to win and the Blades, who have made some late moves to strengthen, need to get traction quickly if they want to survive.

Last year’s top 2 each recorded narrow - but ultimately comfortable - wins. Manchester City turned what looked on paper to be the match of the weekend into a methodical, predictable victory over Newcastle. They scored in the first half and never looked truly threatened by the Magpies. Julián Álvarez netted the goal and his entry into the starting lineup more consistently is shaping up to be a major storyline this season. It’s enough of a challenge for opposing teams to contain Erling Haaland (who was uncharacteristically blunt) - adding another potent offensive force to the mix seems almost unifair. Newcastle can write this off as an away defeat against the three time champions, but they’ll need to adjust quickly with Liverpool and Brighton waiting for them next.

Arsenal also bagged 3 points via a 1-0 victory, theirs coming away at Crystal Palace. The Gunners won’t feel like they showed their best, but will know that on a different night Eddie Nketiah could have netted a couple. Also, they will feel outraged by Tomiyasu’s sending off, as a borderline timewasting call was compounded by a very dubious second yellow. There were late shouts for a Palace penalty, but ultimately you feel that both teams will move on from this match quickly and without much introspection. Almost more notable than the result is that officials already seem to be backing off some of their rule changes, with Thomas Partey not receiving a yellow despite the most obvious pantomiming of a card that I’ve ever seen. 

Brentford won comfortably against West London rivals, Fulham - who will feel very fortunate to have already banked 3 points this season. A Bryan Mbeumo brace followed an opener from Yoane Wissa, rubbing salt into the Cottager’s wounds after their captain, Tim Ream, was sent off for a second yellow which was so light it bordered on white. The Bees continue to show no signs of struggling without Ivan Toney, though I imagine fans will want to see some other players on the scoresheet in the next few matches. Fulham have officially closed the book on the Aleksandar Mitrović era and will need to move quickly to find someone to bolster their front line. They created chances in the match, but guaranteed goals have certainly left the building. It’s not fully time to panic for Fulham, but fears must be starting to bubble in the stomachs of the Craven Cottage faithful. 

Liverpool came back from an early deficit to win 3-1 over Bournemouth at Anfield. The Reds’ defense took a while to click and was rewarded with an absolute arrow of a goal by Antoine Semenyo, who followed his score with a backflip that I, a man who cannot do a backflip, would give a 6/10. The Merseyside club got back on track with a fantastic piece of improvisation by Luis Díaz and a bit of cunning from new signing, Dominik Szoboszlai. The Hungarian earned a penalty which, while there was indeed contact, required about as much acrobatic talent as Semenyo’s backflip to sway the referee. The second half saw Alexis Mac Allister sent off via a soft (and now rescinded) red card and Diogo Jota fired home a third. Bournemouth are still in the early stages of their new era under Andoni Iraola with all the growing pains associated with learning a new system. But, while they lost, they seem far better positioned than other clubs to survive.

Speaking of clubs feeling a bit of pressure, Wolverhampton Wanderers were the most recent club to fall to Brighton 4-1. Wolves continued their pattern of not being able to convert chances and the Seagulls continued their pattern of tearing teams apart. Kaoru Mitoma scythed through their defense and scored a beautiful goal, before delivering a smart cutback pass to assist Pervis Estupiñán. Solly March added two more, before Wolves did finally find the net. However, this was a pure consolation goal and the midlands club’s star midfielder, Matheus Nunes (rumored to be a target for Manchester City), compounded their plight by briefly visiting another planet mentally and earning a second yellow card. Brighton are a team with a bright season ahead of them and a European journey to look forward to. Wolves seem destined to scrape for every point they get. 

Finally, Aston Villa thoroughly rocked Everton 4-0. To give credit to the victors, Villa bounced back from a first week humbling to earn three points in dominant style. John McGinn is thriving in his roaming attacking midfield role, popping up all over the park with a license to cause chaos. It’s truly a credit to the club that they could shake off last weekend’s result and deliver such an incisive performance. It may still be very early in the season, but Everton look to be in extreme danger. While they’ve accumulated some decent attacking stats, they haven’t scored. And, most worryingly, they are conceding goals that must be giving Sean Dyche nightmares. The third and fourth goals in particular are just complete lapses of judgment and gifts to teams. And, not to be cruel, but teams don’t need gifts to score against the Toffees. The cherry on top of this brutal cake is that Dominic Calvert-Lewin had to be substituted after 38 minutes with a facial injury. Everton need to be much better very soon, or this season will slip away no matter how early it may be.